Have faith and be kind

Hi everyone, sorry that it has been so long since my last post. We have had so much happen these last few months that it would be impossible to tell everything here in such a short time. We have been through a marriage counseling course this year which has been a blessing. We have both grown and matured spiritually and as people. I would recommend that everyone do a marraige counseling course every couple of years, I think it is good to sit down with a non-bias third party and evaluate your relationship. 

My husband is again unfortunately without a job so he is again searching for work which so far has not turned up anything. And he is unable to drive until he gets medical clearance from a neurologist (he had a period of night seizures) which has been very difficult for him.

And more recently we have been through some personal/family hardship which I cannot detail but it has hurt…a lot.

When these things happen in our lives it can be very difficult to keep our focus where it should be, and it can be even more difficult not to let our hurt turn into bitterness and resentment. Making sure that our hearts are in the right place helps us to put everything into perspective. It is very rare that people will maliciously intend to hurt you and we must take care to keep that in mind. Pride and believing ourselves to be in the right can often hinder any attempt at reconciliation. Trust God, trust that he has a plan and a purpose for you, even through the hurt and hard times. And be willing to forgive and reach out in love to those who have hurt you.

Danger for Toddlers

So, I don’t usually get involved in political arguments or social debates, but when I read this article I was very upset. I am all for a program that is aimed at early intervention for bullying and domestic violence. What upsets me is that this particular program is aimed at exposing children to sexual content. These are children who still haven’t figured out that nose boogers are not a food group! These children are probably still innocent enough to take baths together and not really think anything of it. The Government (and some other interested parties) are trying to take these children and teach them about cross dressing, gender differences and sexual interaction. Now, as a victim of sexual abuse myself, I understand the importance of teaching kids to know what is appropriate behaviour and what is not. But it is disturbing that the Early Childhood Australia spokeswomen Clare McHugh was quoted as saying. 

“Children are sexual beings and it’s a strong part of their identity, and it is linked to their values and respect.”

Children ARE NOT sexual beings! Are they interested in their bodies? Yes! Are they interested in figuring out how the world around them works and how they fit into it? Yes! I read an article the other day about a little girl who has been allowed to live as a boy and even change her name because she insisted she was a boy. She is being monitored by Psychologists and Paediatric specialists and if, when she turns 10, she still feels she is a boy, she will begin hormone therapy to suppress her progression through normal female puberty. My 5 year old isn’t even at the point where he knows how to tie shoe laces. How on earth is he supposed to make an informed and intelligent decision about his sexuality when he doesn’t even know what that means. Children do not have the capacity to grasp these concepts properly and what is worse, these programs are eerily similar to how paedophiles and other sexual predators go about grooming their victims.

Kathryn Woolley, a health professional who has worked with growth and development in children from birth and upwards made this comment in a discussion on social media.

“Kids in childcare and preschool are simply not mature enough (physically, emotionally or sexually) to comprehend such things! The AGENDA of the program is obviously to normalise perversion by presenting it visually – so that in a few years these perversions can be presented at a deeper level! Groomed gradually – step by step! There will be no more paedophiles – they will now be called helpers fro confused children – displaying empathy and acceptance to these ‘lost’ kids! And kids will no longer sense danger – as they will have been taught it’s all normal! Shame on our society!”

And apparently rigid views on gender are associated with violence and domestic violence. I am sorry but regardless of someone’s views on gender and their roles in society, they still have the choice to be a decent person as opposed to a sadistic psychopath hell-bent on causing someone else pain and misery. The problem with society these days is that their are too many so called “human rights” activists who want to excuse people’s behaviour because they too are a victim to some degree. And while some consideration should be made regarding someone’s mental capacity, people need to be held accountable and responsible for their actions. If you, as a member of society, expect to be privileged with the rights that that particular society bestows on you, then you jolly well better accept your responsibilities as a law abiding citizen and a decent moral human being! If you are not going to do that then YOU FORFEIT YOUR RIGHTS. No ones rights should come at the expense of someone else’s.

It is NOT the Governments job to teach our children about gender identity and sexuality or domestic violence. Parents should be responsible for teaching children about sex and normal and appropriate behaviour. Parents should be teaching their children how to treat others with respect and kindness. And it is OUR RIGHT to be able to teach OUR CHILDREN about these things WHEN and HOW we feel it is appropriate to broach these delicate subjects with our children. Programs such as these undermine parental rights and parental authority. We need to stand up for our children and also for our rights as parents to be able to teach them in the way that we deem best. 

http://www.heraldsun.com.au/news/toddlers-to-be-taught-about-crossdressing-in-controversial-sex-ed-program/news-story/7b935bb2e1573c1b2e748755d0f18986

A Man’s Place

So, after a week of half of us having a vomiting bug and then another week of kids with colds and temps and then myself having a cold this week I have finally made it back. YAY!!!

My husband did an amazing job of running the house and taking care of the kids while I was knocked about this week and he even let me take naps. I am very blessed I know, to have a husband who is so involved in our family and who helps me around the house so much and so often. He goes above and beyond what most people would consider “normal” household and parental duties for a man. Plus he is an excellent cook so, bonus for me.

While extolling the virtues of my amazing husband is awesome, and I have no desire to take away from him as a person, I want to take us back maybe 100 or so years ago. There were fairly rigid boundaries that were laid out as to what was acceptable for a woman to do and what was acceptable for a man to do. Now some of these were more preferences then they were actual things that were not allowed. But it still made it socially unacceptable, and a little awkward, for a man or a woman to be in a role that was typically thought of as something more suited to the other sex. Women were thought of as the delicate ones who needed to be treated more gently. Men were very “macho” and were the protectors and providers. But women were not altogether happy with this set up. Enter women’s liberation, the suffragette movement and feminists.

Now these movements were necassary for certain things undoubtedly. Securing the right for women to vote was a very important step forward as were the changes to some laws regarding distribution of estate when a person died or equal share of property/money etc for women if they were divorced. But I think, in the eagerness to topple men from their pedastool of “patriarchal dictatorship” women have allowed some things to happen that were not quite so good.

Firstly, men have been somehow relegated to the postion of incompetent, unfeeling, unloving, dispicable beings. I saw a post of FB the other day that said “People say “oh man” when things go wrong because men are so disappointing.” Really? Have we stooped so low in our efforts to be noticed and valued and brought level that we have to bring them down? I hear women complain about their husbands/partners all the time, I read it on FB, it is put in newspapers, on TV screens, and in magazines. Men are portrayed (in western cultures at least) as being responsible for everything bad that has happened in the world, as being totally selfish and for the most part, incapable of intelligent thought. If those same ads/articles were run and aimed at a women, can you imagine the outcry. If people were to say the same things about women and to constantly tread them down and belittle them can you imagine the accusations of misogyny, chauvinism and discrimination that would be flying thick and fast. Is it any wonder that a lot of men have just given up and don’t care any more? Once upon a time men would treat women with respect and hold the door for them and give up their seat, not say impolite or rude and vulgar things to or in front of a woman, protect women and be polite. Now, a lot of men won’t offer to help you if they see you struggling with groceries or if your car is broken down. They won’t give up their seats and they don’t open doors. And then, they are the ones who are castigated for their lack of gentlemanly behavior. Or if they do behave nicely it is only seen as a ruse to get a girl to sleep with them. They can’t win.

Nowdays a lot of women can be just as vulgar and rude as the men and many women are constantly giving men a verbal beating. Is it any wonder that a lot of men couldn’t care less about treating women nicely. Respect is something to be earned and a lot of men I am afraid to say have lost their respect for women. Now I am NOT speaking here about physical or sexual abuse. That should never be tolerated by anyone. And by the way there are a lot of men who are abused by their partners also. But they receive little to no support and are often told to just suck it up because they are men.

Secondly, men have lost their place in society. With the rise of equal rights for women, men are not the only ones who work to provide for the family. And single dads and stay at home dads are becoming more common. We also want them to be gentle and help with housework and also help to raise the kids (which they will already be doing anyway if they are a good husband and father). And we want them to still be the protectors and macho ones. But then, too often, we ladies try to tell them how it should all be done. We try to get them to do things our way. We women get upset with them when they want to spend time with their mates, because we feel they aren’t spending enough time with us or with the kids. We get frustrated when they spend time playing computer/video games (yes I hate computer/video games) as their unwind time because we see it as a waste of time.

Men are constantly being fed different information about who they should be and how they should act that I think they lose themselves sometimes. I heard once that the biggest killer of men in our society was suicide. Men are constantly under so much stress from so many sources. I think we forget that they need time out just as much as we do. They need the time to figure out who they are as a person now that their role has changed, just as much as we do as mothers. Too often women try to bend mens wills and their minds to try and fit them into what we think they should be like. But men are not like us. Their brains think differently to ours.

There is so much more I would like to say on this topic but this post is already very long so I will simply end with this. Women need to treat men with more respect. Yes there may be some men who don’t deserve it. But respect to a man is like a card and a bunch of flowers to a women. It is how they know that we love them. If a man feels respected by his wife, he will be more willing to do things for her.

Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband
Ephesians 5:33

Posting

Hi everyone. I trust you are all well. We were hit with a vomiting/diaorrhea (does anyone actually know how that wretched word is meant to be spelled?) bug last week and the kids also have had coughs and fevers etc this week. I know that I said I would try to do a post last week but with all the sickness it didn’t eventuate I’m sorry. But I promise I will have a post up by tomorrow night. Sweet dreams all xo

Hi

Hi everyone, sorry about the lack of activity, things have been a bit crazy around here these last few weeks. My husband resigned from his job, my eldest boy started school, we have had sickness and family visit, I going to attempt to finish me uni degree so I have been trying to organise that plus I have been looking for a job just to mention a few so life has been a bit hectic. Will get back to writing blog posts this week…promise!!!

Gift

God has a way of sending blessing when you least expect it.

We have been in a bit of a tight spot recently, finance wise, and both my husband and I have been wondering just how we were going to manage. We have bills to pay, rent, cars to fuel and maintain, food and other grocery items to buy and our oldest is starting school next week so we have had the added expense of uniforms, stationary and school fees. Sometimes we are left wondering just how we are going to make it until the next time we get paid.

Then something happens, like my husband over budgeted for something and we ended up with a bit of extra money, or we receive a gift from someone or a group of someone’s, or we get paid a little bit more than what we thought we would get paid. The people who have given know who they are and we are grateful from the bottom of our hearts that you followed the Lord’s leading and allowed His love and his kindness to flow through you. 

Just the day before we received one of those gifts my husband and I had both had a talk with the Lord about trusting Him and waiting for Him to provide. Neither of us knew that the other had had this conversation with God, we only told each other after the gift had been given to us. But isn’t it wonderful how God can use these moments to really bless us and to establish our faith. When I think of the people God has used over the last couple of months I am reminded of this verse.

2 Corinthians 9:7 – Every man according as he purposeth in his heart, [so let him give]; not grudgingly, or of necessity: for God loveth a cheerful giver.

Praise the Lord for those who are willing to be cheerful givers, I pray that the Lord would bless you greatly. We should be willing to listen to God’s gentle voice when it comes to giving to others, sometimes we may not feel we have anything that we can give but like the lady with the vial of oil and the little bit of flour fed her son and herself and Elisha in 2 Kings 4 for the whole of the famine, perhaps what we need is not more to give but more faith that God will meet our needs if we give what we have. 

Thoughts

The thoughts that we think about our spouse, our kids, our friends and family members impact how we act and react. They shape our opinion of those people and we act or react accordingly. But we need to be careful that our thoughts and emotions don’t lead us astray and cause us to misconstrue peoples actions or intentions. We need to as 1 Corinthians 13 says “think no evil” if we love someone we should always try to think the best of them and focus on their good qualities rather than on those which offend us.
Now I am not saying that there is not a time and place to speak to them about certain behaviours etc of course we need to be involved in helping them in that way as well, however the problem comes when we spend so much time dwelling on the things that we don’t like that we begin to NOT SEE the things we do like. Encouragement is sometimes the best tool we can use to help them change a behavior. Let’s try to say something encouraging to our loved ones this week and focus on the good qualities rather than the bad.

Lead your heart to Joy

I was attempting to do a bible study the other week and I read this and thought I would share it.

“…you must take the view that instead of following your heart, you are choosing to lead it. The world says to follow your heart, but if you are not leading it, then someone or something else is (I would add that we need to choose to lead our hearts as we allow Christ to lead us.) The bible says that the heart is more deceitful than all else (Jeremiah 17:9) and it will always pursue that which feels right at the moment. We dare you to think differently, choosing instead to lead your heart toward that which is best in the long run. This is the key to lasting, fulfilling relationships.”

How many of us have been leading our hearts? When we allow our feelings, our desires, our dreams to take over the inevitable result is that we become desperately unhappy because we have not learnt to “be content with such things as ye have” (Hebrews 13:5) When we go through times of trial and testing do we choose to lead our hearts towards God and away from despair? Our hearts very easily deceive us into thinking that we deserve better, that we have done the hard yards and so now we deserve a velvet cushion to sit on. Having joy when things are going well is easy. Having joy when you “fall into divers temptation” (James 1:2) that is the real test. We cannot say we have faith in God and then fall into despair when things are not going so well. “But let him ask in faith, nothing wavering. For he that wavereth is like a wave of the sea driven with the wind and tossed. For let not that man think that he shall receive any thing of the Lord.” (James 1:6,7)

Knowing this, that the trying of your faith worketh patience.  But let patience have her perfect work, that ye may be perfect and entire, wanting nothing. (James 1:3,4).

Do we let the trials in our lives point us to Christ? Or when we have has it been for a fleeting moment in time? We need to find the joy of the Lord regardless of whether we are in walking on cloud nine or cowering in the midst of a storm. Having joy and peace and contentment is a choice, and it is often a hard learned lesson, one that comes through much hardship. But Jesus has told us to “cast all your cares upon him, for he careth for you.” (1 Peter 5:7). God loves us so much and he wants to be with us and carry us through the storms and to calm our souls and give us peace but I also believe we need to learn to CHOOSE to be happy, come what may.

Hast thou not known? hast thou not heard, that the everlasting God, the LORD, the Creator of the ends of the earth, fainteth not, neither is weary? there is no searching of his understanding.

He giveth power to the faint; and to them that have no might he increaseth strength.

Even the youths shall faint and be weary, and the young men shall utterly fall:

But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint. (Isaiah 40:28-31)

 

 

Christmas Break

Hi everyone, I hope you all had a happy and safe Christmas and New Years. I should have posted and told everyone I wouldn’t be blogging over the Christmas break but I’ve been so busy it quite escaped my notice. This is my first time doing all this kind of thing on the internet. Oh well I know for next year. I will be back on schedule this week and I should have a post up tonight. Thankyou for all your support in 2015 and I look forward to what 2016 will bring xo
Rach